Trying too hard

I once dreamed that an acquaintance said to me over the phone, ‘You try too hard.’ This was years ago but it still echoes in my mind. I always try. Why wouldn’t I? Who would I be if I didn’t. I grew up in a family where our unspoken mantra was: Hard work, not cleanliness, … More Trying too hard

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The room

I’ve always liked the story about the last step monks must take to attain enlightenment. After years of training, their final test is to walk through a long, dark room filled with everything they fear most. Only when they can make it to the other end are they truly enlightened. I think about this a … More The room

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Hi, I see you.

You caught me off guard. ‘Hi, I see you here a lot.’ You do? But I’ve never seen you. I should wear my glasses more. You said more to me, but I was too stunned to say much back–just my usual smile-and-nod. When I got up to leave I wanted to say ‘bye’, but I … More Hi, I see you.

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Mr Harris

How do you do it? Every time I look at your painting, I’m astonished. The wild brush strokes that capture light on a window pane so perfectly. It’s a photograph, but when I come closer, real close, it’s just paint roaming deliriously on a canvas. The leaves strewn on the street, randomly clinging to that … More Mr Harris

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Your smile

Your smile woke me up. The way you smiled at me made me feel like I was waltzing with the stars. In that instant I was whole–shimmering and whole. You gave me a peek in to what relationships could be.

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The Search

I’m constantly searching, improving. Am I so broken that I need ongoing renovations? When I really listen. When I, shhhhhh… the answer is, ‘no, I don’t.’

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You

It’s easier to imagine you than it is to get to know you. In my mind you’re everything I want you to be, you’re everything I need. There’s no hurt feelings, no misunderstandings, no risk. But that’s also the downside. To get to know you means reaching out beyond my ledge and onto yours. What … More You

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Worthiness

All of the challenges in my life stem from a feeling of unworthiness. I was constantly striving and trying to be someone of worth, never realizing that I’m worthy simply because I AM. I had a dream years ago where someone said to me, “You try too hard.” At the time I agreed completely with … More Worthiness

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