Getting Clear About What I Want

Last week I wrote about how changing my inner script changed the way I felt about my circumstances. That understanding led to the realization that to live the life I want, I have to clear out any self-sabotaging beliefs I may be unconsciously harbouring. As Carl Jung said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life, and you will call it fate.”

I always wondered why some parts of my life flowed easily, while others stalled. Now I understand that it has to do with alignment. When I want something and my unconscious beliefs support it, then success is almost assured. But if there’s an unconscious resistance toward it, that wish will be cancelled out. For example, I see myself working as an account director in an advertising agency where I’m not only excelling at my job, but also loving the people I work with and feel fully respected by them. When I’m truly honest with myself, I hear a tiny voice saying, “That’s too much responsibility. Who am I to aim that high?” Since I feel negative about attaining it, I’m not going to allow myself to have the experience. In a way, it’s self-protection – it saves me from possible disappointment. But it also keeps me from experiencing my full potential.

The way I’m getting myself into alignment – where I feel positive about having what I want – is to clear out my negative beliefs. I do this by first noticing where I have resistance and then clearing them out. The fastest way is to visualize what I want as clearly as I can, and then feel whatever emotions come up. When it feels good, I know I’m on my way.

When I feel anxiety or discomfort, I know I have work to do. In these moments, I simply sit with the feeling and ask it what it wants to tell me. I fully welcome whatever comes up – images, words – without judgement. Then I change the fearful thought into a positive one. If a thought like, “I can’t handle the responsibilities of being a big account director,” comes up, I change it to, “I’m fully capable of being a successful account director.” I keep reaching for the underlying truth behind my resistance and turn it around.  And I always know when I’ve hit on the truth because I’ll feel a sudden deep, inner connection.

Since I started doing this, I’m feeling happier and freer – like everything’s possible. My thoughts are clearer, too. Our unconscious beliefs navigate our lives, and if they’re not supporting our goals, then no matter how much effort we put into them, we’re always going to hit a wall. If they’re in full alignment with what we want, then life flows effortlessly. When we get out of our own way, we allow our light to shine.