Making my life flow by not resisting and letting go

Until you make peace with who you are, you’ll never be content with what you have.Doris Mortman

I realized a few days ago that I’ve been resisting the parts of my life that are not going well. Instead of accepting them and myself, I only focus on what should be. My finances should be better. I should be living in a bigger, nicer place. At this point in my life, I should have a solid, well defined career. I should, I should, I should. Not once have I taken in what is. Until this week.

I’ve learned that the easiest way to solve problems is to: first accept them as they are; and then allow myself to feel whatever the situation brings up. I do it all the time with small problems – irksome things at work, rude Starbucks baristas, etc… But with my relationships, finances and career I haven’t done anything except despair over them. Not accepting things as they are makes me feel like I’m keeping secrets and that I have to make excuses for my life. I don’t want to do this anymore.

It’s become clear to me that the only way to move forward is to stop trying to change everything and simply accept what is. Okay.

I live in a small place that’s cozy, but not nearly the home of my dreams. I work at a job that’s outside of my field and I secretly feel is beneath me – I do it because it pays the bills and it gives me time to figure out what I want to do next. I don’t have as many friends as I’d like. I have credit card debts. 

Just putting this here created a churning knot the size of a baseball in my stomach. I can see why I’ve been avoiding these issues in my life: they scare me and I’m embarrassed to admit them. Facing what I’d rather avoid is exactly what I need to do right now. I spent this entire weekend taking an honest look at my life. Though it’s not easy, it’s also not as bad as I thought. I’m going to continue doing this until I’m completely comfortable with all areas of my life. Then, perhaps, my life will flow in the direction of my dreams.

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2 thoughts on “Making my life flow by not resisting and letting go

  1. Did you happen to see my own post about the way we each have an idea of how our lives are “supposed to be”…..? that way of thinking lead to lots of “heartache” in myself…each one of us has ideas of what we want to have in our lives, but sometimes when we get some of those, life still feels lacking….or unanticipated surprises/glitches come along. I know it’s hard to have the courage to reflect like you did this weekend…it’s good to take a look, but also be sure to include the many,many positives, too… sending encouraging wishes to you…. kathy

    1. You’re comments are always filled with insight. Thanks Kathy.

      I’ve not had a chance to read you’re post yet – thank you for pointing it out to me. I’m sure it’s wonderful. We do make life harder for ourselves when we fill it with supposed-to-be’s. Things are starting to feel easier as I’m making peace with myself as I am. It’s the feeling of the internal “ahhhhh”.

      And thanks again for the encouragement. I hope you’re journey is leading you to fantastical places.

      Tristan

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