Discovering the Secret to Happier Relationships

Last week I wrote about accepting my life and myself as I am. For the past week, every day I would remind myself of where my life was in that moment and then fully embrace it. Within a few days, I started to see phenomenal changes in my life. Relationships that were difficult, and sometimes painful, did a 180 degree turn and are now supportive, even fun. The amazing thing is I’m not doing anything differently. I’m still myself: saying the same things, doing the same things. But something changed.

To get to this point, all I did was look at every area of my life and acknowledge exactly what state it’s in, without judgement. I would look at my relationships and say to myself, “Okay, this is where I’m at right now.” I did the same with my finances and health. There’s something about accepting and letting go that makes everything flow, especially with relationships.

There were a few co-workers that I had a hard time connecting with since I began my new job. It’s not that we didn’t get along, we just didn’t click. For some reason our conversations always felt stilted. And no matter how much I tried to connect with them, it never seemed to work. In fact, it seemed to divide us even more. This past week, as I began to accept the situation and my relationships in general, it began to change. Suddenly, our conversations felt natural; asking them for their help felt easier. I didn’t feel like I was doing anything differently. I simply stopped trying to make it all work. I’m sure my previous attempts to connect felt forced and contrived. Once I took away the pressure to be friends it became easier to be around one another. And maybe this is the magic of acceptance.  

In Eckhart Tolle’s book, A New Earth, he tells the story of an archer who kept missing the target. After observing the archer, a coach reveals to him that his need to succeed is what’s actually keeping him from success. I let go and suddenly what seemed out of reach before appeared at my feet.

I still have challenges to move through. It’s as if the moment I learn one lesson another one instantly appears. But from these experiences, I know I can navigate through whatever comes up by simply facing up to the challenge, and accept it for what it is.


4 thoughts on “Discovering the Secret to Happier Relationships

    1. Thank you for your wonderful encouragement and kind words. Your thoughtfulness inspires me!

      It’s an amazing time of learning and growth for me. I plan on continuing with it and see if I can pick up more momentum.

  1. This is inspiring~ I’d like to share this post and your blog with my friend who is suffering from a conflict with her housemate. I think this would be very helpful =)


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