Last week I wrote about accepting my life and myself as I am. For the past week, every day I would remind myself of where my life was in that moment and then fully embrace it. Within a few days, I started to see phenomenal changes in my life. Relationships that were difficult, and sometimes painful, did a 180 degree turn and are now supportive, even fun. The amazing thing is I’m not doing anything differently. I’m still myself: saying the same things, doing the same things. But something changed.
To get to this point, all I did was look at every area of my life and acknowledge exactly what state it’s in, without judgement. I would look at my relationships and say to myself, “Okay, this is where I’m at right now.” I did the same with my finances and health. There’s something about accepting and letting go that makes everything flow, especially with relationships.
There were a few co-workers that I had a hard time connecting with since I began my new job. It’s not that we didn’t get along, we just didn’t click. For some reason our conversations always felt stilted. And no matter how much I tried to connect with them, it never seemed to work. In fact, it seemed to divide us even more. This past week, as I began to accept the situation and my relationships in general, it began to change. Suddenly, our conversations felt natural; asking them for their help felt easier. I didn’t feel like I was doing anything differently. I simply stopped trying to make it all work. I’m sure my previous attempts to connect felt forced and contrived. Once I took away the pressure to be friends it became easier to be around one another. And maybe this is the magic of acceptance.
In Eckhart Tolle’s book, A New Earth, he tells the story of an archer who kept missing the target. After observing the archer, a coach reveals to him that his need to succeed is what’s actually keeping him from success. I let go and suddenly what seemed out of reach before appeared at my feet.
I still have challenges to move through. It’s as if the moment I learn one lesson another one instantly appears. But from these experiences, I know I can navigate through whatever comes up by simply facing up to the challenge, and accept it for what it is.