Beautiful, rich, self-assured people are bitchy and arrogant. This is what my unconscious keeps telling me. Since my unconscious is hidden from me most of the time, I never questioned this assumption, until this morning.
Most motivational books tell you to envision yourself as you’d like to be, living the life you want. The premise is that by doing so you’ll live into it. This works well if the visualization feels good. Whenever I see myself as beautiful, wealthy, and confident, a ball of anxiety flares up in my chest. Why? Seeing myself exuding these qualities makes me fear that I’ll be shunned. People would see me as uppity. Somewhere in my life these traits got linked with negative associations. I don’t know where these assumptions came from, and it doesn’t matter. It matters that they’re holding me back.
We won’t allow ourselves to be anything that we have negative feelings toward. No mantras, goal setting tricks, or persistence will overcome these obstacles. One way to change ingrained beliefs is to question them. Are they true? Can I prove that being confident, beautiful and rich makes me bitchy and arrogant? No, I can’t. Bitchiness and arrogance comes in all shapes and sizes. Self-assured people are often kind and generous. And being beautiful and rich won’t make me obnoxious. I’ve never been those things.
The more I can demystify negative assumptions, the more comfortable I’ll be with my ideal self. It’s like cleaning out a house filled with dust – only when the house is clean that you can see it’s true beauty and inhabit it freely.